Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Dreams Suck!

I am one of those few people that actually remembers what their dreams were about. I can pretty much tell you in detail what I dream on a daily basis. I used to love this, that is until they started turning into nothing but pregnancy and baby related dreams. Even worse is that fact that I'll think about my dreams all day long and often can't shake the feeling of sadness I wake up with in the mornings. I was just thinking about a dream I had a couple of weeks ago. That dream scarred me for much so that I still remember every little detail. If any of you happen to specialize in dream interpretation feel free to take a stab at this one.

Scene 1
The dream starts off with two of my coworkers telling me they are throwing me a baby shower even though I am obviously not pregnant. They tell me my shower will start in a few minutes so I must get ready. I proceed to tell them, this is a crazy idea as everyone will know as soon as they see me that there is no way I am with child. Their response "fake it". "Just fake it for today so you can get all the gifts and maybe even money and then just get pregnant as soon as possible". I try to explain to them that I can't get pregnant and that this will never work since I have been trying to get pregnant for a long time. For some reason they don't hear me or don't care about this and keep pushing me into my room so I can change for my baby shower.

Scene 2
I'm in my closet trying on clothes and standing in front of the mirror. I'm trying to find an outfit that will make me look pregnant and am now considering stuffing a pillow under my shirt. I start to cry because I know I'm not going to get pregnant fast enough so that no one will find out what's really going on. After numerous outfits I finally decide on a shirt which in real life has earned me several comments from people about whether or not I'm pregnant lol.

Scene 3
Party is in full swing and everybody I know is at this party. Co-workers, ex co-workers, relatives, friends, friends of get the picture. I'm fake smiling and trying to hold back the nervousness I feel because I just know somebody is going to out me. The guest form a line and proceed to walk by me one by one handing me their gifts. Many of which are white envelopes which contain money to be used on the baby. One after another they congratulate me and hand me my gift. Everyone is having fun and yet all i can think about is that there is no way I will be able to get pregnant.

If that doesn't sound awful to you, it's probably because I wasn't able to convey the emotional hell I was going through in this dream. I don't think I've ever had a dream as horrible as that one. Even thinking about it now and remembering the desperation I felt in my dream makes me sad.

Okay enough with the sadness. I was finally able to convince Mr. G to buy me a guitar for my birthday. His reasoning for not wanting to buy it is two-fold.
1. I have never ever played the guitar and don't know a thing about guitars. In fact, up until last week I've never been remotely interested in picking one up much less actually playing one.
2. He thinks I come up with crazy new ideas whenever I'm bored and will soon be over it. In all fairness to him, I do tend to come up with new things I just have to have or I will die! However, after a week or so of wanting something I completely forget about it and move on to my next want just like when I wanted the WII, the iphone, a pug and so on and so forth.

That being said I am still completely convinced I can learn how to play by watching instructional videos on youtube, yes I'm being serious! Truthfully, it didn't take much to convince Mr. G to get the guitar for me...just a little charm and a thick layer of guilt. My b-day is a week from Sunday and I'm already thinking of the multiple songs I will learn to play on my new guitar. I just know I will be like Violet from the movie Coyote Ugly. Writing songs and ultimately selling one to an uber famous singer.

Unless of course, I get frustrated within the first two minutes of "playing" and abandon it in some dark corner of our house.

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