I know many of you reading this will understand my feelings. It seems like not being able to conceive makes me feel like I'm running out of friends I can truly express my feelings to. More and more of my friends are having babies and I just don't feel like I can be completely honest about my feelings with them. I try to be a good supportive friend but in reality that evil green monster doesn't allow me to be truly happy for them. Am I being selfish? Probably. I just feel that I deserve to be happy and if that means I avoid some ppl for some time until I come to terms with things then so be it.
On another note, for some reason I feel like I'm closer to becoming a mother then ever before. This may just be wishful thinking but I'm a bit of a superstitious person and there have been several signs lately. However, this may just be another form of coping. Either way, wish me luck and send baby dust my way. I'm hoping this month is the one that changes my life forever :)
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I can completely understand this entire post. The good thing is I find that blogging about these things and getting to vent allows me to focus on other things when I'm with non IF friends. But I still have my moments where I feel like they don't get it, I'm not being fair to them or myself and it's all one big mess...uggg
ReplyDeleteWould love to keep you as a reader :) I need an email address to send the invite to, do you mind sending to me? Mine is erin_lis@hotmail.com, I promise I won't send you any adverts or stupid jokes!